Follow Your Heart/Transcript
(Accept mission) Springs: Deadlift, that guy I asked you to kill, just ordered a bunch of inspirational posters. Deadlift: I HAVE MOTIVATIONAL ISSUES! Springs: Head to his ship and put them up everywhere. Here, take the posters and the delivery confirmation. (Taking posters and delivery confirmation) Springs: I need you to get that delivery confirmation signed before you put the posters up. (Approach Scav) Springs: Find somebody to sign for the posters. After all, I like to think I run a reputable organization. Scav (if approached before Deadlift's been killed): The hell are you doin' on Deadlift's turf, Vaulter?! Scav (if approached after Deadlift's been killed): Deadlift may have kicked it, but get off our turf! *'Athena (if present):' Need you to sign for a package. *'Wilhelm (if present):' Got a package. Sign for it or I'll kill you. *'Nisha (if present):' Delivery. Need your signature. *'Claptrap (if present):' Hello, scavenger! I have a package for you! Would you mind signing for it? *'Jack2 (if present):' Got a package for you, uh -- you wanna sign it? *'Aurelia (if present):' Sign for this, so I can go take a shower and wash off the sensation of having performed actual work. Scav: I would be delighted! (After giving clipboard) Springs: Great! Now give him the package. (After giving package) Scav: Thanks! Now GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! Springs: He's got the package? Cool. Now kill him. Guy's an asshole. Scav: What is this? What secrets do you hold, hmm? What lies within your bowels, oh mysterious package? Be you a small kitten? Or a knife? Or a small kitten holding a knife? Speak to me, knife kitten! Show me the secrets of the universe! (After killing Scav) Springs: Awesome. Now you just have to put the posters up all around the ship. Deadlift's men will try to kill you the entire time, but... eh. (Putting up first poster) *'Athena (if present):' I question the strategy of posting images of myself in the lair of my enemies. *'Wilhelm (if present):' No. *'Nisha (if present):' That would only look cooler if I was standing on a dead bandit. Or kitten. *'Claptrap (if present):' Such majesty! *'Jack2 (if present):' This is the picture of a woman who would smile while she shot me in the scrote. *'Aurelia (if present):' Is that cool? That's what "cool" is? Springs: That's one poster up. Keep going. My customers are gonna get what they paid for even if you shoot 'em in the sternums while they get it. (Putting up second poster) *'Athena (if present):' Hm. That does look intimidating. *'Wilhelm (if present):' Eh. *'Nisha (if present):' Agh, I shoulda gotten some blood on me before the picture. Damn. *'Claptrap (if present):' I look like someone so cool, he might even have FRIENDS! *'Jack2 (if present):' This makes me wanna stab someone! *'Aurelia (if present):' There's absolutely NOTHING about that I like. Springs: Only a few posters left. Don't die. (Putting up third poster) *'Athena (if present):' That picture's... not bad at all. *'Wilhelm (if present):' Hm. *'Nisha (if present):' That scary enough? I think it should have been scarier. *'Claptrap (if present):' Oh, no! My ego is growing! I'm developing... self-confidence! *'Jack2 (if present):' That's a little more information than I needed. *'Aurelia (if present):' That is a picture. Springs: Just two more and you're done! I'm incredibly happy that you're doing this for me. If that's not clear, it's only because I've spent several months isolated getting almost-killed by kraggons. (Putting up fourth poster) *'Athena (if present):' I have to admit, I look pretty cool! *'Wilhelm (if present):' Yeah, alright. *'Nisha (if present):' Still not quite intimidating enough... must be my clothes. Not dark enough. *'Claptrap (if present):' I look... GOOD! I have self-worth! I-- ERROR. UNIT HAS BECOME SELF AWARE, ERASE PRECEDING MEMORY CHUNK. Where am I? I feel sad for some reason. Hooray! *'Jack2 (if present):' Huh. *'Aurelia (if present):' I see. Springs: Just put up one last poster and you're all done. (Putting up last poster) *'Athena (if present):' Awwwwww. *'Wilhelm (if present):' Well now I'm hungry. *'Nisha (if present):' Ughh. Wanna snap its neck. *'Claptrap (if present):' Why thank you, inspirational cat poster! You're not so bad yourself! *'Jack2 (if present):' Ohhh, kitty! I ruv him! *'Aurelia (if present):' A kitten! Reminds me, I need to buy another hundred for my space-castle. Apparently, you have to "feed" them? Springs: I overexposed the last set of pictures so I used a cat photo instead. People like cats. Anyway, come on back. (Turn in) Springs: I had a cat. It died. Category:Transcripts